Last night, I watched the Ugly Truth with my parents. It’s a quite enjoyable, albeit all too predictable, movie. My only problem with it is that my mom and step dad keep telling me that I’m just like Katherine Heigl’s character, Abby. Though I thought Katherine Heigl did a great job, I felt that the way she played the role was over the top which I’m sure is what the director wanted. In my opinion, I feel like Abby and I share some similar qualities but I’m not as extreme as her character is. But we do both have a quirky little dance that we like to do when we get excited!
I like structure. I like being in control. I’m a health nut. I tend to go more for comfort when it comes to clothing. I have a list of certain traits an “ideal man” would have but I’m not expecting someone to fulfill all of them because if they do, chances are they are not being true to themselves (therefore not worth it in the long run). So yes, I’m a little like her. But to go as far as to say that Heigl’s character is me is a little daunting. I swear I’m not that crazy. And I hate cats so there’s a dividing factor right there. I hate being minimized into a stereotype and my own family is doing it. Even my brother’s girlfriend said I was just like her, and for the fifth time this week, I wanted to tear her head off.
There was something one of the writers of the movie said that struck home with me. “Find someone you can tolerate.” See? That’s something I can relate too! Seeing as I have PADHD, that’s a pretty damn good goal to achieve when it comes to finding love seeing as my tolerance threshold for most people is really low.
Funnily enough though, I’m trying to do what Abby does– step more out of my comfort zone.
Over the weekend, I met someone who said, “If this life is all we have, why not make the most of it?” I know this saying has been said one too many times (in some variation), but for some reason it hit home a little more this weekend. I’m fucking 21 years old! These should be the years of my life! I should be having fun! Granted, college isn’t that great but I can still try and make it a memorable experience. And that would involve me breaking out of my boring habitual patterns. A little scary, but I’m taking it one step at a time. Just like Abby! I’m still being myself though, just letting more of it show… like the stuff I’m afraid people will take the wrong way or frown on me (like wearing more revealing clothing which my family doesn’t exactly approve of).
Ugh, that’s a problem with being a girl. We try to please everyone but ourselves. I’m trying to make myself more of a priority and not caring about the shit everyone else thinks about my choices.
Here’s to pealing back the layers and exposing myself for what I am! Apparently, my family doesn’t even know me.
Filed under: Relationships
I’m a lurker on several blogs and one grabbed my attention this morning: Suddenly Single’s 5 Dating Dos. While I agree with a couple of these, I have my own list. Let me preface this by saying, this list is by completely subjective. All girls thoughts vary on this topic… but here’s my list.
Do be yourself. Please. There’s nothing I hate more than liars or people who change to please someone. It’s pretentious and ridiculous to deal with if I find out about it! If you belch normally after a good meal, let it out! I’m one of the girls who’ll laugh it off with you! If you get scared easily, don’t worry! You can grab onto me and I’ll not complain.
Don’t touch me unless I touch you. Personal space is very valuable to me and the faster you rush your hands into it, the faster I’ll shut you down.
Do text/call me randomly. It’s nice to know you’re thinking about me.
Don’t text me too much too often. My blackberry is a kick-ass piece of shit and gets every single one of your messages. Just because I don’t respond doesn’t not mean you should send a repeat message or ask why I’m not responding. I have a life and I’m easily distracted. I try to get back to texts within a couple days if I forget. But sometimes I can go a week without getting back to someone’s phone call. Sorry but it’s the truth… I’m trying to work on it though. However, the more you text me and you don’t get a response within the week, there’s likely a reason. I get sick of people physically, socially and text-ically really, really fast.
Do have an open mind. This is probably the most important! There are so many different kinds of people, cultures, and opinions in the world. I’m not asking that you accept and/or agree with me on such topics, but I ask that you respect them. Don’t dis please. I’ll return the favor.
(which leads me to…)
Don’t dominate the conversation. Yes, I want to learn more about you but there has to be some sort of balance, man!
Do let me open the door every once in a while. Now, I know what you’re thinking (if you’re a gentleman that is)– “But the guy is always supposed to open the door! It’s what’s right!” I’m not saying I don’t appreciate the gesture, because I do and I think it’s very romantic (if we are on a date). Though sometimes, I get a bit competitive and like to wear the pants. So let me! It makes me feel happy to see you look up in surprise and say “thank you.” Also, let me pay sometimes! It doesn’t make you any less of a man and it gives me peace of mind that you’re not going into debt.
Don’t call me woman, chick, bitch, etc… I find those terms very undermining and you’ll find yourself bitch slapped so quickly your head would spin.
Do say or call me beautiful. Pretty simple. Every girl loves this!
Don’t throw pity parties. I like confidence in a guy; I wouldn’t even mind a little cockiness because it shows you’re comfortable with yourself. If you’re comfortable with you then I will be too! Plus, I don’t want to hear all your sap stories and drama. I have enough of my own that I’d happily not share with you.
Do have a life! Sure I spend much of my day thinking about guys, but I still do other things and interests! I can’t spend every moment with you and I wouldn’t want to. I’d get sick of you and if I’m really into you, I’d hate myself for it. Hang with the guys, watch the football game, go to the gym, play WOW, whatever… just be interested in something. No, I changed my mind… Be passionate about something. It’ll make you more interesting!
Don’t do baby or “gay” talk. Period. Nothing–I repeat, nothing–turns me off faster. You might as well grab your pants and leave if I ever hear it as you’re taking me to bed.
Do give me time between dates. Like I said, I need my space.
Don’t put pressure on committing. It may be running through the back of my mind, but if you bring it up, it will scare the shit out of me. I’ve had trust and commitment issues for years. Once I feel I can trust you and we are heading that direction after a good amount of time, we’ll have to let the chips fall where they may! Until then, I like my opportunities.
Wow… didn’t expect it to be that long but I think you get the gist. I am picky. Deal with it.
If you have anything you’d like to add (girls), I’d be happy to see what others like and don’t like. As for you guys who happened to stumble across this, what do you think?
