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Bitchy?

What do you say to someone who tells you that they miss you or that they want to hang out with you?  Here is the clincher: what if you don’t reciprocate their feelings?

Last night, a guy that I completely see as a friend (let’s call him BR) was being quite frank in asking me to have dinner with him.  Truth be told, he’s a great kisser and we have been on dates before.  But I just don’t want to!  Simply, I didn’t respond to his text about coming to roast smores and having a home cooked Italian meal at his place.  Is this wrong of me?  Would it be better if I put him out of his misery and just said “I don’t like you that way, so I don’t want to see you”?

For his birthday in March, I took BR out to a cute little Italian restaurant which I paid for because I forgot his birthday and felt it was necessary.  Unfortunately, we went back to my place and we kissed… a lot.  Ever since, my entire being is repelling any idea of seeing or hanging out with him. 

What makes it hard is that a few weeks ago I had told him that I love hanging out with him, which I do–as a friend!  But after that last “adventure” as he likes to call them, I need time away from him.  How much time? I haven’t a clue but apparently two months isn’t enough seeing as I’m still not keen on the idea.  Is this bitchy of me?  Yes, a part of me feels horrible but why do something you don’t want to do?  Quite frankly, I’d rather spend the evening on my ass watching Grey’s Anatomy or reading at this point.  Maybe I’d go on a walk.  At any rate, those make me a little more pleasing to be around. 

But that still doesn’t change my mind in not wanting to hang out with these certain people who tell me quite frequently that they miss me or want to chill.  Thing is, I don’t miss them and don’t want to be in their presence.  In fact, just receiving text messages too often from them irks me.  So what am I supposed to tell them?  “Sorry, I don’t want to hang out with you”?  Somehow, I can’t see how that wouldn’t hurt their feelings.   Honesty is usually my priority but when if I can avoid hurting someones feelings I will by cutting corners of the information.  I think my fear is that I don’t want to lose them as a friend so I spare their feelings by not saying anything or weaving my way out of that conversation topic. 

Bitchy?  I’m starting to think so… But I prefer the idea of being a sufferer of PADHD– People Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.

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