Filed under: Relationships
What do you say to someone who tells you that they miss you or that they want to hang out with you? Here is the clincher: what if you don’t reciprocate their feelings?
Last night, a guy that I completely see as a friend (let’s call him BR) was being quite frank in asking me to have dinner with him. Truth be told, he’s a great kisser and we have been on dates before. But I just don’t want to! Simply, I didn’t respond to his text about coming to roast smores and having a home cooked Italian meal at his place. Is this wrong of me? Would it be better if I put him out of his misery and just said “I don’t like you that way, so I don’t want to see you”?
For his birthday in March, I took BR out to a cute little Italian restaurant which I paid for because I forgot his birthday and felt it was necessary. Unfortunately, we went back to my place and we kissed… a lot. Ever since, my entire being is repelling any idea of seeing or hanging out with him.
What makes it hard is that a few weeks ago I had told him that I love hanging out with him, which I do–as a friend! But after that last “adventure” as he likes to call them, I need time away from him. How much time? I haven’t a clue but apparently two months isn’t enough seeing as I’m still not keen on the idea. Is this bitchy of me? Yes, a part of me feels horrible but why do something you don’t want to do? Quite frankly, I’d rather spend the evening on my ass watching Grey’s Anatomy or reading at this point. Maybe I’d go on a walk. At any rate, those make me a little more pleasing to be around.
But that still doesn’t change my mind in not wanting to hang out with these certain people who tell me quite frequently that they miss me or want to chill. Thing is, I don’t miss them and don’t want to be in their presence. In fact, just receiving text messages too often from them irks me. So what am I supposed to tell them? “Sorry, I don’t want to hang out with you”? Somehow, I can’t see how that wouldn’t hurt their feelings. Honesty is usually my priority but when if I can avoid hurting someones feelings I will by cutting corners of the information. I think my fear is that I don’t want to lose them as a friend so I spare their feelings by not saying anything or weaving my way out of that conversation topic.
Bitchy? I’m starting to think so… But I prefer the idea of being a sufferer of PADHD– People Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.
Filed under: Updates
To make a long story short, I wanted an original header for my blog. Let me tell you it was quite an adventure trying to find someone who would let me use their artwork from DA. That is seriously one of the coolest websites out there! I wanted something colorful but not to happy-go-lucky. Came across a gummy bear on a fence and I thought gummy bears were perfect! Found this one and thought it suited my blog perfectly. Yes, there is are nice things in life but there is nothing to make it easier. Life is hard and sooner or later you’ll get bitten. Don’t know if it makes sense to anyone else, but it works for me! Frikibunny8 was generous enough to let me use his. A big thank you goes to him!
Originally, this blog was to help me figure out how to work certain things in my life. But I think I just need it for stress relief from the “bites” in my life. Posts about other things are bound to show up too… the sweet stuff, if you wish. Writing always seems to help me. I expect to write here much more often than previous.
Oh and I found MyLiveSignature to help me put my sign on here… See below. Isn’t it awesome? Scarily enough, it looks almost identical to my own handwriting. :)
REMEMBER ME!!
(that is my reminder to myself to write here, especially since it’s all pimped out)
Filed under: Updates
I finished this semester much better than the fall (where I got my first ever C+… yikes!). There were three A’s, two A-’s, and one B+ on the screen making my cumulative GPA 3.79.
Now I can’t wait for the fall! Should be a fun semester. Taking Italian and starting on a double major as well. Looks like fall 2009 will be a good one!
Doing better in not picking. While shopping yesterday, I told myself “no” a couple times while in the dressing rooms when I felt my body itching to get closer to the mirror so I could nit-pick at any imperfection. I didn’t do it! However, I caved a little at home and did a little more damage to my arms. But at least I stopped myself for a good majority of the night.
Listening to Mamma Mia. There is no better CD to help lift your spirits with the fun beats and actors who you never expected to sing.
